The “Let Them” Theory

The latest self-help trend seems to be the embracing of the Let Them Theory.  It’s a no-brainer – we all know we can’t control others.  We can’t make people do what we want them to do or what we think they should do.  You just let it go – let them do what they’re going to do and you do your thing with a clear conscience.

Right.  Setting being a serious control freak aside, I’m having some issues with this concept – not with all situations – just the important ones.  It’s like “leaving it in the hands of God” – always had a hard time with that.  Not that I don’t trust God.  I just know it works – I’ve experienced Providence sweeping in doing things when you let go and it can get pretty freaky. 

Granted, holding on to some semblance of control may be just as unrealistic as completely letting go, but where’s the line?  You’re supposed to be a caregiver, but the person you’re supposed to be looking out for has different ideas about what they can or cannot do.  OK, let them.  And, then YOU get to drive them to the ER after midnight.  Maybe it’s selfish preservation to try to not let them?

Maybe working on little “let thems” is a good thing.  A friend recently embraced what she calls her “Lighten the Hell Up” mantra.  She made me smile – and try it.  Tried it at the grocery store.  Even within our beautiful, huge new Publix store, the tourists are still annoying.  (Honestly, some of us locals were goofy gawkers the first few days after it opened – it is freaking amazing.)  Now, instead of my serious scowl, I have a goofy grin when I think, “Lighten the hell up.”

As for the care-needer, I’m working on it.  Trying to “let them” while I “lighten the hell up.”